Enter the Pokesphere

[jesh]

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}So I'm moving this over here lest it be lost to the ages. I figure that it'll be better preserved here with its original readers than over in vdex with the tumbleweeds. Who knows what the future might hold for Pokesphere?

A young man stands in front of a random blue screen. It just so happens that today, the Xth of March, is his birthday. It was thirteen years ago that he was given life, but it's only today that he will be given a name.

What is his name?



Don't be a smartass.



That works better.



As stated before, your name is LUKE, and you seriously love POKÉMON. That's why you have POKÉMERCH over every square inch of your room. If you had to pick a favorite type, it would be ALL OF THEM, but especially WATER TYPES. In fact, you probably couldn't sleep at NIGHT without your MARILL PLUSH

Beyond pokémon, you are also interested in COLLECTING THINGS. Among your favorite things to collect is POKÉMERCH. Your MOM tends to buy it for you, which is actually how you became interested in the first place.

What will you do?

[jesh]

> Luke: Stop playing with your dolls POKÉMERCH and go downstairs.



Oh, how you wish you could, but you're GROUNDED for INCIDENTS YOU'D RATHER NOT DISCUSS. Oh well. Merch time!

> Luke: Cuddle your Marill plush and mutter, "My precious..."



You begin to cackle not unlike a humanoid character from a popular fantasy series. Yes, you think, we must protects the precious…

THIS IS STUPID

> Luke: Examine your odd looking Munchlax Merch.



That's clearly not MERCH! That's your beloved FIRST POKÉMON, MUNCHLAX. You call him MUNCHY. Nobody ever said you had to be CLEVER. You cannot believe that you got him THREE YEARS AGO TODAY as a birthday gift. You love him so mu(n)ch.

Looks like one of your friends is messaging you.

[jesh]

> Luke: Respond to your friend unit.



killerCaterpillar [KC] began messaging manicCollector [MC]

KC: hehe, happy birthday dude!

MC: thanks. im so excited man. today is the day it comes.

KC: i know! i can't wait. so what did you get? anything good?

MC: hmm. nothing yet. it hasnt come yet, as far as i know. im waiting for my mom to come home with 30 different pokémerch. ugh, i cant believe she thinks i like that stuff.

KC: you can't be serious.

MC: oh who am i kidding? i want all the merch. like a starving man wants foods.

KC: jeez, you can be really creepy with the metaphors sometimes.

MC: i call them

MC: get ready for this

MC: creepaphors. i am a genius when it comes to creepaphors. i want to collect them all.

[jesh]

> Munchy: Start eating the carpet, then the Togepi Pokemerch.

ERROR: MUNCHY IS NOT A PLAYABLE CHARACTER

…

…but…

he did it anyway.



KC: i'm going to go ahead and ignore that you just said that. my gift should be arriving in the mail soon.

KC: i can't wait to see the look on your face when you get it!

MC: is it merch? cuz while i think weve discussed this before, i should remind you of my sheer, unending love of merch.

KC: i dare you to go five minutes without talking about merch.

MC: thats like a man chopping off his own arm for food.

MC: bam. another creepaphor. right up in your face.

KC: *facepalm* why do you do these things? nevermind. we really need to talk about this game. you know i'm down to play, but what about PH, RR, NY, and DI? have you even asked them yet?

MC: …im bad at planning stuff. oh well, im sure they're all willing to play. although i dont know about DI. she scares me.

KC: finally, something we agree on.

KC: we have to get everyone to agree to play before we can even begin. i read that it's a six-player game. and since these are the only friends we have…you know.

MC: it kinda bugs me that i only have 5 friends…and i've never met them…

KC: NEVER USE BUG NEGATIVELY AGAIN.

MC: …okay…listen, I'll talk to PH and NY, and you chat with RR and DI. okay? bye!

KC: wait, i don't want to-

manicCollector ceased messaging killerCaterpillar

KC: damn it!

[jesh]

> Luke: Notice that Munchy is eating all of your stuff.



WHAT ARE YOU DOING MUNCHY?!? That's your limited addition rare imported Togepi merch that there are only six of in the world OH WHY MUNCHY?!

> Luke: Flip bed and or table chair upside-down and blame it on Munchy.



AND NOW YOU'VE GONE AND FLIPPED THE CHAIR OH GOD MUNCHY I MEAN REALLY.

> Luke: Recall Munchy into his ball.



He needs to take some chill time. For some reason, he was destructive to your stuff.

> Luke: Start eating stuff along with Munchy. Begin eating contest.

> Luke: Sing like a man and damage some eardrums.

> Luke: Message those people KC mentioned.

You would do all those things but…

Wait…what's that? You think you hear a truck! Oh gog, the mail's here! You couldn't be more excited!

[jesh]

> Luke: Do a YOUTH ROLL out the window.

> Luke: JUMP OUT THE WINDOW TO GET THE MAIL.

> Luke: Look outside the window.



You would, if only you had a window. Instead, all you can do is dream.

> Luke: Run like a madman.

> Luke: Go downstairs. RUN! RUN DOWNSTAIRS like a madman.



You know this is a bad idea, but who are you to question the voices in your head? You get ready and begin to descend the staircase…